


Crimson

by tattooeddevil



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-09
Updated: 2013-01-09
Packaged: 2017-11-24 07:29:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/631944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tattooeddevil/pseuds/tattooeddevil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam is terrified he is going to turn evil. Dean has made it clear beyond a doubt that he's not going to kill Sam, even if he does go darkside. So with no chance that Dean will save the world from his brother, Sam decides to take care of that himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crimson

Blood drips between his fingers like sirup. There's no pain, just a warm, fuzzy feeling if satisfied completion and relief. He did good, he is doing good, no one can take that away from him. Ever. Not even Dean.  
  
The cuts are deep, he can see his pulse fluttering where the skin gapes open. Vertical, along the vain, not horizontal, across the vain. The first pulse bubbled up and out like the first eruption of a volcano; slow like molasses, but powerful and hot, merely a forebode of what was to come. He smiled at that, carefree finally, his guilt washing out together with his poisoned blood.  
  
His eyes focus from his hands to the bottom of the tub where puddles have formed underneath his outstretched hands. Slowly growing puddles that finally blur together to form one big ocean of crimson demon-stained stain. It's like looking at one of those Rorschach tests where all you can see is fire, death and blackness, spreading and spreading until all you can do is tear the piece of paper up and throw it away. He can tear his body apart.  
  
Sounds start to fade away, the room starts to dim. His eyes blur and for a second everything around him slides to the left. When his head hits the side of the tub he realizes it's not the world that slipped, but he did. Thank god, he can still save the world. He lets himself slump, exhaustion taking over his body and mind, his eyes slipping closed. Not long to go now before he ends. He will end and he will stop the world ending. He will win.  
  
 _"Sam!"_  
  
The world tilts again, jerkily and fast. It's nothing like it did when he felt the life spill out of him along with his tainted blood. It brings the hurt back, it brings himself back. He mutters a "no" to whomever hears, praying for the world to right itself. It's as if the planet is arguing with him, not pleased with him saving it.  
  
 _"Don't you dare leave me, Sam, come on!"_  
  
The planet sounds a lot like Dean. Unhappy, angry, disappointed, hurt. He wonders what he did wrong and for a brief moment he wants to cry. What does he have to do to make everything right? Save everyone from  **him**? He wants to protest more, but everything greys out again and a cold settles over him. He feels like someone is pulling his arms, pulling him up and away from his resting place. He lets himself float up and out, a happy grin spreading on his face.  
  
 _"Stay with me, Sammy, stay with me, damnit!"_  
  
Finally everything goes black and he sighs. He did it. He saved the world from himself.  
  
 _"No, Sam, please!"_  
  
A bright white flash and he wonders if he's in heaven. A shot of pain and he wonders if he went to hell instead. Soft voices nearby, their whispers nothing like he imagined angels to sound like. Nothing like he knows demon sound. One terrified voice cutting through everything.  
  
"He's waking up. Nurse! He's waking up!"  
  
Soft hands on his arms, chest, head. Stronger, calloused hands grasp his tightly. A shift right next to his head, a tearful voice in his ear.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Sammy, I'm so sorry. I never should have said those things I did. I never should have walked out like that. I promise, do you hear me? I promise I will kill you if the time comes, okay? Just.... Just fucking come back to me, okay? Come back to me."  
  
Dean's promise makes him fight his way back to the harsh light of the hospital room and squeeze Dean's fingers. If he can't save the world himself, he's just gonna have to make Dean do it. He promised.


End file.
